July 27th - Aug 1st

I can't believe its been a week since my last post.  I feel like my weeks are all starting to blur together.  It was an okay week.  I was home most of the time and went back to work Friday.  I really didn't want to, but my manager and I decided that it would be a good idea.  I went and checked in at Medical and cried on my way into the office and when I talked to the nurse about the m/c.  She told me she had one too.  I'm amazed that we don't all wear patches to show that we have had to deal with this awful thing. 

I got to the ofice and JP told me that she had 3 m/c before having her oldest son.  It did make me feel better.  I feel like this happens a lot more than I could even ever imagine.

I went to lunch with L & T.  T is expecting in December and I was so jealous when I saw her baby bump.  I don't know why b/c I'm so excited for her but it was hard to look at.  I want a baby bump, with this baby I lost....

We went camping over the weeked and M&V are both expecting in November.  They both have adorable baby bumps.  They talked about being pregnant.  They talked about the things they didn't like, it really hurt.  What I wouldn't give to be throwing up, having headaches, being tired all over again.  I'm would do it all just to have this baby be my take-home baby. 

But camping was a lot of fun.  Jemez was BEAUTIUFL I want to go camping again.  I want to be in nature.

I do have to mention the horrific storm we were stuck in Saturday night.  Crazy rain and lightening.  The worst that I have ever seen. 

Sunday was a good day.  I finally got a negative pregnancy test!!  Who would have guessed that I would have ever wanted that to happen.  ALT & I went to drinks at El Pinto.  Yummie margaritas that hit the spot.  She really is a great friend and I really enjoyed our afternoon.

Anyway, this week should be great.  I have an endocronologist appointment tomorrow to check my thyroid.  I really hope that we can work this all out before we start trying again, which we will as soon as we are cleared. 

Camping Pictures

Other Weekly Pictures

Went & visited my
Brother Thursday. 
Told him to take care
of our baby.

The rainbow Timothy
sent us later that day.

My first day back to
work.  It felt nice to
be back in the real
world....

A BFN!!  Finally
had a negative test. 
Can't wait to see
the next positive!!

101 Things

So I'm going to break down and work on a 101 things to do in 1001 days.  One of the girls on the bump had this list and it really inspired me.  It so easy to think about the things we want to accomplish in 1-year or 5-years, but its a totally different thing to actually write it all down.  So here is my list.  I'll try to remember to check in monthly on how I'm doing.  Hope this inspires some of you to do the same thing.

This list is good from July 26, 2010 to April 22, 2013

Self-Help Section

1. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
2. Don't complain about anything for a week
3. Send a secret to PostSecret
4. Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
5. Complete a 365 day photo challenge
6. Read 100 books
7. Not log into facebook for a whole week!
8. Learn Spanish
9. Stop swearing for a month
10. Re-finish a piece of furniture
11. List 100 things that make me happy
12. Crochet a blanket
13. Buy Christian Louboutin shoes
14. Have Christmas Cards out by December 1
15. Go to a photography class
16. Have a spa day
17. Host a wine and cheese party
18. Update blog at least twice a week for 6 months
19. Landscape our backyard
20. Sell our house and buy one closer to family
21. Get some flower pots for the backyard
22. Make a new friend
23. Use reusable shopping bags every shopping trip for a month
24. Make a list of 10 things I like about myself
25. Get a new digital camera
26. Participate in 10 Postcrossing.com postcards
27. Renew my passport
28. Learn to shoot a gun
29. Buy a gun
30. Watch all of Audrey Hepburn’s movies
31. Build a snow man
32. Complete a 500 piece puzzle

My At-Home Business
33. Develop a business plan
34. Develop a contract & marketing materials for my business
35. Plan 2 events in one summer

Workout
36. Attend yoga at least once a week for two months
37. Do the 200 sit up challenge
38. Improve my posture
39. Run a 5K

Financial
40. Create an emergency fund
41. Pay off all credit card debt
42. Stick with a budget for five full months

43. Reach a point financially where I can stay home part-time or work from home


Helping Others
44. Hold a charity event
45. Pay for someone behind me at Starbucks
46. Put change in someone's expired parking meter
47. Donate $100 to a random charity
48. Volunteer twice a month somewhere for 6 months

Spiritual
49. Do bible study every day for a month
50. Go to church every week for a 2 months
51. Consistently journal my Bible reading daily for at least one month
52. Pray for others every day

Eats
53. Buy an expensive bottle of wine (more than $100)
54. Only one small sweet or less a day for a month
55. No fast food for a month
56. Go vegetarian for a month
57. Make ice cream from scratch
58. Make my own bread
59. Put together a cooking blog, follow through
60. Learn how to bake amazing cakes/cupcakes
61. Go one month without soda
62. Organize my favorite recipes
63. Bake something once a month for a year
64. Leave a 50% tip for dinner
Trips/Outings
65. Go horseback riding
66. Build a sand castle
67. Attend a taping of a live TV show
68. Visit somewhere in Europe
69. Go whale-watching
70. Go skinny dipping in the ocean
71. Sleep under the stars
72. Ride in a hot air balloon
73. Go on a picnic
74. Spend a day at the beach
75. Visit the Grand Canyon
76. Visit 3 States (I haven’t been to) in the US
77. Go to Yellow Stone
78. Learn how to surf
79. Drive northern part of Route 1 in California
80. Go to Napa Valley
81. Visit the crater in Arizona
82. Go to a film festival
83. See an opera at the Santa Fe Opera
84. Take a train somewhere
85. Take a sister’s trip
86. Visit Carlsbad Caverns
87. See the Bills play in Buffalo
88. Take Clarence to see Washington, D.C.
89. Hike the entire La Luz
90. See a Cirque Du Soleil show in Vegas
91. Visit San Francisco
92. Take a random road trip
93. Take a mother/daughter trip

Husband & I
94. Kiss in the rain
95. Have a baby
96. Have dinner by candlelight
97. Surprise my husband with a trip to Alaska
98. Have a designated date night once a week for a month
99. Have a candlelight dinner with my husband once a week for a month.
100.Take a dancing lesson with my husband
101. Take a cooking class with my Husband
 






 

July 19th - July 26th

I kinda like the weekly look of this blog. Now to the not fun part of my life....

The last week has been very stressful. I had a feeling something was not right with our baby the week before the 19th. The doctor seemed to think everything was okay. So Sunday the 18th, Clarence's Birthday, I was still having some issues and called the Doctor again. The doctor on-call told me to rest, hydrate and try to get a repeat u/s Monday. So Monday morning I call my regular doctor and she sends me to Perinatal Associates for a check-in u/s.

I remember getting ready to leave the house and thinking, "everything is going to be great, we saw the h/b, this is just a chance to see the baby again." I remember sitting in the waiting room and telling Clarence, "well at this point we will get to see the baby every two weeks, since we have our 1st trimester screening two weeks from now." I remember thinking again, everything is going to be great.

We were called back and the u/s tech told us the baby should be big enough to see on top. Our baby should be 10w0d at this point so we should be good. She turned on the machine and had a hard time finding much. She told me that she wanted to do the internal machine b/c it would help her see. That she could see something was there but wanted a better look.

I was slightly worried at this point, b/c according to her, we should have been able to see the baby. But I changed and tried to remain calm. We start the 2nd u/s and see the baby. It looked exactly the same as it did 2 weeks prior. No changes at all that I could tell. She turned on the contrast so that she was able to see blood in and out. It was lit up all around the fetus, but the baby stayed black. She turned on the cross-hairs and the h/b line and nothing. She looked for a couple of minutes, nothing. She grabbed my knee and told me "I'm not finding a h/b on this little one, but I'm going to keep looking." I lost it, I cried. She looked, for what felt like forever. It was so hard to see the flat line the whole time. She left the room to get the nurse practitioner and I cried even harder.

The nurse and the u/s tech looked again. She said the baby measured 8w2d, the exact same size as the prior u/s. The still couldn’t find a h/b. The nurse went to talk to my Dr and the Dr said I could come in at 9am. I felt like a hole had been ripped out of my heart. I just wanted to go home and climb into bed.

That first day was hard, real hard. It was so hard to believe that we saw the heartbeat 2 weeks ago. That we told everyone we were expecting. That we were convinced that the baby was okay. And nothing was okay.

The next morning we went to see the Dr. to get our options. I lost it at the counter checking in, I lost it with the nurse in the room. The doctor finally saw us and let me know that she could perform a D&C; rather than waiting to see if my body passes everything naturally. She rushed around and got us scheduled for 4pm that day.

I was starving when we got to the hospital for the procedure. They gave me an IV (bruised me really badly) and let me just relax with my family until it was time. The wheeled me into the surgery room and asked me what beach I planned on visiting. I told the anesthesiologist that I wanted to go to the Bahamas and that was the last thing I remember. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the recovery room. I have some applesauce, b/c at this point I’m still starving, and Clarence comes in to see me and take me home.

The rest of the night was easy, I had some cramping and back pain but nothing a little Tylenol and heat didn’t fix.

The next couple of days were rough. We had amazing friends that took care of us all week. Flowers arrived at our house and food was there for us every night. It really takes a village to raise a child and grieve over one too.

I’m starting to feel a little more like myself at this point. I don’t go a minute without thinking about the little gingerbread man that we lost. I know our baby is in Heaven with family and friends and I know God has plans for us. I wish I knew what the plans were, b/c I’m a Type A kinda gal, but I know something good is in store.

Anyway, I’m getting back to my blog and wanted to write all of this before I forgot.

My battlewound from
surgery.  She got me
good!

I cannot get this to rotate! 
RuthAnn & I made this to
remember the Baby by.

Beautiful flowers from our
amazing friends

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Funny Pic of the Week

Nacho was so thirsty he stood
in his food bowl to drink water.
Oy, dogs are so not
hygenic....

July 12th - July 19th

We were planning our 10-year reunion and it was finally the week before.  I felt like we had so much to do before the weekend got there.  But our team was so amazing, we were now just counting the days.  We were trying to make our count of 120 and were finally at 90-ish people by Monday.  We figured we would hit 110 by the weekend, gave the Hyatt our count, and made sure they had all the details they needed.  We showed up Saturday and made sure we had everything we needed; except we couldn't find the planner in charge of our event.  We went to see the room at 6pm and there was no dancefloor, no table for the DJ, no buffet tables set up; I almost lost my mind.  But the Hyatt eventually pulled it together and had the dance floor set up by 10-after 7pm.  We did get an extra 30-minutes on the open bar for their mess.  And a mess it what.  I'm not sure I would trust them with any other events.

But our event eventually was AMAZING.  We had 121 people show up and everyone had a great time!  I can't believe it has been 10-years since high school.  Everyone looked great.  We danced the night away.  I was so exausted by the end of the night I was in bed by 1am.  Everyone else went out drinking and celebrated Clarence's 28th Birthday! 

Clarence and I at the
Friday night Istopes event

Our group after the Topes game

Our amazing planning
committee

Group photo towards the end of the night. 
So much fun!!

January - July 12th

So its been a while since I posted, but I decided that I am ready to start posting again.  I'll catch you all up.  Nothing real exciting happened January until May.  We started on Clomid at the beginning of May so that we could start our family.  May 31st we got our first positive pregnancy test.  It was such an exciting day for us! 

Clarence didn't believe the first test, the line was super faint, but there was a line. I had to get the digital test that read PREGNANT before he would believe it. And a couple minutes into the test it read PREGNANT.

We decided to tell our family that Thursday, before I left on vacation for a wedding.  We told Nivia first, she was super excited.  We gave her a bib that said "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's".  She opened it, looked at me and said, "Are you guys serious??".  We just nodded and she started crying.  We couldn't wait to give Nivia her first grandbaby. 

Next we went to my parents house.  Gave them two bibs and a frame with "Baby Pegues, Arriving 2/14/2011".  We handed it to them in a Target bag and said we thought they left the stuff at our house.  The looked confused and then saw the bibs and said, "Oh, this must be Addie's".  My Mom put down the bag and felt something hard (the frame).  Re-opened the bag and started crying.  Mom was really quiet, but kinda jumping around, and my Dad asked what was going on.  She showed him the frame and he got super excited too. 

We did betas that first week and they more than doubled in the 48 hour window.  We felt really good about this pregnancy and it was starting to feel more and more real. 

 Along came my 6 week appt and my first ultrasound. We were slightly hoping for twins, but were so happy when we saw one happy little baby. The Doctor saw the heartbeat and said our due date was 2/16/2010 based on size and estimated date of conception. He gave us a picture of our first baby and asked us to come back in 2 weeks, July 7th, for a 2nd ultrasound. 

So we head back to Dr Thompson's for our 8 week u/s.  Everything looked great and our baby started to look like a real baby.  We heard the heart beat, 155 bpm.  The doctor said everything looked great, the baby was measuring 8w2d, changed the due date to 2/15.  We were getting closer to Valentine's day.  

We left this appointment knowing that everything was going to be great.  Once you hear the heartbeat the chance of miscarriage goes down to less than 5%.  We knew we were safe at this point, no reason to think otherwise.  We decided that it was time to tell everyone else.  We posted the due date on Facebook.  Everyone congratulated us.  I brought cupcakes to work and announced it there.  I just felt so comfortable.  Everything felt right and we were on our way to being parents.   

January 19, 2010

So Honey the dog thought it would be funny to wake me up 30-minutes before my alarm went off. I didn't think it was funny at all and it was not a fun way to start the day. I wish my Husband were here to help me with her. And the day after he gets back is the surgery so he won't have to tough it out with me at all.


It snowed this morning in the mountains and rained in the city and the snow on the Sandia's was beautiful this afternoon. I couldn't get a great picture but I love the way the mountains look. I can't imagine living somewhere without the beautiful views we get. Makes you so happy to be alive!





Another attempt at the mountains. So pretty!









Went to Happy Hour with Jess and David. Savoy has 1/2 price bottle wine night on Tuesday's and it was totally worth it. I need a break and a glass of wine and it was amazing! Their baked goat cheese is also an amazing appetizer. So great! I love this restaurant, well the bar anyway!








I was taking pictures of the house and Nacho didn't understand why I was in the tub. So he climbed up to get a better look. He really is a super cute dog! I feel kinda bad for him this time of year because its so cold and he is so little, but his jacket keeps him warm!

January 18, 2010

Can't believe its Monday! I was not excited to go to work...I know how much I have to do! Clarence is still gone and Honey is still not sleeping well. I normally don't miss Clarence when he is gone. Its nice having some time on our own. BUT this time I really miss him! I think we have been spending too much time together since we have gotten married and now I can't stand to spend time away from him. ;0)


Oy, trying to get organized is tough! That was probably the toughest part of my day. Its hard when you know you have so much to do to and can't set time aside to get everything together. But I now feel prepared and ready to hit the ground running. (That doesn't mean I don't have a TON of stuff to do still)...





While cleaning out my bathroom (yes the house again) I took all the drawers out of the bathroom, emptied them and put them on the floor. Nacho is so nosey and is constantly in everything! Including drawers. He climbed into this empty drawer and just hung out there.

So I have been trying to eat healther but hate giving up all sweets. I went to the store in search of something yummie and realized that I love Skinny Cow desserts. They have these cones, that are like drumsticks, and are delish (and only 150 calories). Anyway, if your dieting and need something sweet I would suggest these desserts!

January 17, 2010

Woke up this morning and realized that I still had a lot to do around the house. I feel like this house is going to be my obsession for a LONG while! Well at least until it sells. I guess we could be surprised and it could sell quickly (fingers crossed) but I don't want to get my hopes up!


Our master bedroom. All clean and sad. I cleaned all the rooms and then ran around taking pictures for the listing. Its hard getting good angles in all these square rooms. Hopefull the realtor likes some of the shots. The realtor also came over today and we created the listing. We listed it just from today to Monday so we could get the pictures loaded and will officially start the listing Friday. The sign is sitting in my front room and I'm so excited to put it in the ground Friday morning! I'm sure we will take a picture of that!!

AHHHH!!! Its that time of year AGAIN!!! The Supernational's are in two weekends and I cannot believe its already here. Spent the evening at my Mom's, not working on carshow stuff, but Dad was in full swing. I really admire his ability to manage life and this HUGE show. And as much as I hate this time of year, I really love this show. Its as much of a part of this family as my any of us.

At first glance, this looks just like a blue bag, but it holds my shots and shot supplies. I've changed my Autoject pen several times but NEVER the bag. And its been 6 1/2 years since I began my shots. While I do them every night, I still cringe right before I inject. I understand how important they are...but I DO NOT enjoy them. So while this looks like a little blue bag, it is so much more. It reminds me that for the rest of my life I will have this disease. HOWEVER it does not have me!

January 16, 2010

Fun filled, Saturday. We were throwing Leanna a baby shower (had to be rescheduled due to the early appearance of Zach in December). It was so nice seeing all the girls and just spending girl time all day!

RuthAnn came and spent the night. We went and had dessert at Flying Star and then watched Julie & Julia. We always fall asleep on the couch! So that is what we did last night too!

Melissa made a diaper cake for Leanna - she is super creative. Can't imagine how much time that took!! I'm going to have to try one of those one day!

The cake we bought for the party. It was from Smith's and they did a great job! I would order a cake from them again anytime!

January 15, 2010

Lots to do today. Woke up with the worst sinus headache ever (just when I thought this cold was going away) so worked from bed all morning long.

Took Honey to the Vet for X-rays, she was still feeling bad. Turns out she has a stone in her bladder and has to have surgery right away. We are taking her back next Friday for the surgery, hopefully all will go well. It should make her feel better though, poor thing is not doing so well right now.

Went and talked about our 10-year reunion and what we need to do to plan the event. Can't believe we are at that point!!

Hein's Birthday party was tonight. Devin and I decorated the house and everyone showed up at 9. It was fun but I missed Clarence being there! Can't wait for him to come home!

January 14, 2010

Feeling better today. Overall was a pretty uneventful day. Clarence found out he was going to have to go to El Paso for a week last night so he left today for that. Usually it doesn't bother me when he leaves but I'm feeling sad he is gone this time. Oh well, I'm going to have to figure out a way to entertain myself!



Sunrise on the way to work.








My sad, empty kitchen. There are no pictures just empty counter space!







The only plan I've ever been able to keep alive! It needs to be repotted, I need to find a new pot for it. Any ideas on where to find a pretty one??











My dogs love to sun bathe in the corner of the back yard. I'm pretty sure that is where they spend most of their days.

January 13, 2010

Happy Birthday, Jimmy! We toasted for his birthday (anniversary) tonight! Miss you bunches but know are here with us all the time!

Back to work today! Starting to feel better but can still tell I have this stupid cold. Hopefully it will be gone soon!!


Another sunrise. Wish I could have gotten a better picture, the clouds looked amazing coming over the Sandias!!








This guys car was hilarious!! He had two bumper stickers making fun of Obama. A pride sticker. A disco ball hanging from his mirror and he was dancing in the front seat! I wanted to be dancing in his car with him. Looked like fun!

Nacho hates bed time! He will just sit there and stare at the bed until we force him to go to bed. I think he just always wants to be up and partying!!

January 12, 2010

Another day not doing anything. Just hung out in bed and tried to get better.

January 11, 2010

I stayed home from work today and went to the Doctor's to get something to fix this cold. He told me that I needed to just wait to get better. Just allergies or a virus. Hate that answer but I'm okay with not taking medicines if I don't need to.

Honey is also not feeling better. Poor puppy. So I went to the Vet and picked up some new antibiotics and pain meds for her to see if this will help whatever is wrong with her. Keeping my fingers crossed...

I have been trying to cook A LOT more and yummie stuff. Clarence and I made some pasta in the crockpot and this was the beginnings of the recipe. I love when you cook vegetables and they get brighter. Makes them look so good!!

January 10, 2010

Really nothing from today. Slept until Noon. Woke up and ate, went back to sleep. Felt really crappy...

January 9, 2010

So no pictures from today. I was sick but did go to wine tasting with the girls. Need to do more girls days out. It was great! Also started packing up my kitchen tonight (listing the house soon). It looks so empty and sad. Can't wait to be packing up to actually move!!

I also realized that in order to do this project well, I'm going to have to get over being embarassed to take pictures EVERYWHERE. I felt weird taking any pictures at wine tasting and I'm not sure why. I really need to embrace this project and feel comfortable taking pictures no matter what!!

January 8, 2010

First things, first....

Happy Birthday, Dad!! (Not a pic I took today but had to add one of Dad today!!)

Okay....Today was my Friday off and it was a good thing too b/c all I wanted to do was sleep. My cold starting hitting really hard today (and little did I know this would be a week long deal). Here are my pics from today!

Woke up and put the dogs outside and noticed the sunrise was beautiful today. I love the sunrises and sunsets in NM so I'm sure I'll post TONS of them as the year progresses...

Napped with Honey all day today. She is a very good cuddler and wasn't feeling well either. Hope she gets better soon!

Thought this was funny....We were watching some spoof movie and creepy Alvin and the Chipmonks came on all possessed and started singing crazy hard rock. It actually freaked me out just a bit.

Green chilie stew for dinner! Delish!!

January 7, 2010

So I'm behind already! Have a lot of blogging to do this morning! I caught a cold and spent this last week sick. Went to work and left 1/2 way through the day and went home and slept. It was amazing...

That about sums up my day....All I did was sleep, drink tea and eat Halls....

January 6, 2010

So I've decided that my blog cannot be exciting every day and some days the pictures are just going to be boring. Nothing fun or exciting happened today. I caught a cold and feel like poop. Clarence and I are trying to finish Dexter Season 3. I wish I could just watch the last 3 tonight without regretting my decision of staying up. Anyway, here are my boring pics for the day.... =0)


This was my attempt at getting a picture of the sunset but the light was weird outside. The clouds kinda looked like birds (which you also cannot see b/c of the weird lighting). BUT in real life it was really pretty. The sunsets are probably one of my favorite things about Albuquerque!




So I don't know if you have ever had to give a dog pills but it is always entertaining. Tonight I tried to give Honey one of her bigger pills and she was not having it. Anyway, I shoved one down her throat and she spit it up, all disintegrated and nasty. Clarence was laughing at me b/c it was nasty and I was gagging. Too bad they don't make all dog pills beef flavored!!